35 Crazy US Sex Laws You Wont Believe Exist

35 Crazy US Sex Laws

So guys I just found out I’m no longer allowed to have sex with Satan without a condom in Bakersfield, have a go with a live fish in Minnesota or fiddle a porcupine in Florida.


The government is taking all the fun out of my life.

I hope you don’t get too much bad news when you read these, guess it’s plain old paid dating from now on.

(Unless Satan is willing to meet me in LA)


1 – It’s illegal to have sex with Satan in Bakersfield, CA without a condom

No words.


2 – It is illegal for a man to have sex with a live fish in Minnesota

But it’s ok to have sex with a dead fish.


3 – Utah allows beastiality but only for entertainment, not personal satisfaction

In other words no experession and no finishing, then you’re all good.


4 – It is illegal to have sex with a porcupine in Florida

Fucking pricks.


5 – In Washington it is illegal to have sex with a virgin

So for your first time you have to go out of state.


6 – It’s illegal to have sex with an animal over 40 pounds in Washington

That seems a little weightist towards small creatures. At least the friendly beaver is still on the menu.


7 – Anal sex is illegal in Cincinnati

Not a great place to be a gay man then.

Rodeo Clown Sex Illegal

8 – It’s illegal to have sex with a rodeo clown in front of horses in Massachusetts

No funny business or horsing around?


9 – Pre-marital sex is illegal in Georgia & Virginia

Something to consider when choosing your college.


10 – Adultery in Massachusetts punishable by up to 3 years in prison

A risk worth taking.


11 – Oral sex is illegal in Indiana & Florida

That blows.


12 – It’s illegal to sell sex toys in Alabama

But ok to fuck small creatures and your sister. That makes no sense.


13 – Missionary sex only in Washington DC

So no cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, the sticky Irishman etc.


14 – In Alabama incestuous marriages are legal

How else can you make a 13 fingered banjo player?


15 – No more than 2 dildos per house in Arizona

Threes a crowd?

Man Aroused Law

16 – In Indiana a man cannot be sexually aroused in public


17 – In Oregon cursing during sex is a criminal offense



18 – Sex in a graveyard is illegal in North Carolina


19 – You cannot sleep naked with your partner in Minnesota


20 – It’s illegal to flirt in San Antonio, TX


21 – A man may not kiss his wife breasts in Florida


22 – It is illegal to kiss a sleeping woman in Colorado


23 – In Wisconsin any sex with a woman other than your wife is considered rape

This is also my wife’s rule.


24 – It’s illegal to sleep naked in Minnesota


25 – PDA prohibited in Michigan by law.


26 – It’s illegal to have sex in walk-in meat freezers in Newcastle, WY

I assume this is with another person and not with the meat itself?


27 – In Iowa a man with a moustache cannot kiss a woman in public


28 – Dirty talk in the presence of a woman is a misdemeanour in Michigan


29 – In Romboch, Virginia you cannot engage in a sexual activity if the lights in the room are on

Because the people in Rombach are just that ugly naked?


30 – Kissing for more than a minute is illegal in Halehorpe, MD

No foreplay, straight to action. Must be a man who made that law.


31 – In Dyersburg, Tennessee it is illegal for a lady to call a man for a date


32 – No living together before marriage in Michigan.

The penalty is up to 1-year jail time and $1,000 fine.


33 – It’s illegal to kiss in public for more than 18 minutes in Idaho

Who times this?


34 – It’s illegal for a man to shoot a gun in Connersville, WI while his partner orgasms

I was not aware men in Connersville would know when their partner orgasms.


35 – It’s illegal for a woman to have sex with a man whilst riding in an ambulance in Tremonton, Utah

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